Discover Dating Success | Dating After Dating | Find Love

Create True And Lasting Love In Your Life

Can 20 Minutes Change Your Love Life?

Call to find out. Ready to move forward to find your soul mate? Let's start with a 20 minute conversation which will get you started in the right direction.

Ten Things To Find Love Now

Find Love

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

 

© Relationship Coaching Institute | All rights reserved | Used with permission

 

  • Home
  • Dating + Relationship Advice
  • Meet Debbie
    • Contact
    • Work With Me
      • Private Coaching
      • Attract Your Soul Mate Now
  • Programs + Products
    • Programs
      • Dating Live Find Your Soulmate Now Series
      • Dating Coach Email Program
    • Products
  • Events
    • Event Listing
      • Discover What’s Really Missing In Your Love Life
      • One Day Find Your Soulmate Event
      • Find Your Soulmate Wokshop
  • Resouces
    • Ten Things To Find Love Now
    • How to Avoid the 14 Dating Traps
    • Relationship Radio Shows
    • You’re Single For A Reason
    • Love Thoughts And Quotes
      • Self Esteem Quotes

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Choose Your Thoughts Wisely

How To NOT Believe Everything You Think

 

Your thoughts are just that… thoughts. They are NOT facts! You get to choose the thoughts you focus on. So next time a negative thought pops up, let it go. Replace it with a positive affirmation.

All day, your mind is throwing you thoughts, waiting to see which ones you take the bait with.

And boy, do you ever take that bait! (I must confess – I do it too!)

The thing is you keep on repeating those thoughts, telling yourself the same lines and stories over and over again even expanding that thought to become bigger and bigger.  Pretty soon, you forget it was just a passing thought and believe it to be factual and truthful. You get to the point where you can even find the convincing eveidence to proof that random thought is correct.

Some of those thoughts just get you stuck.  It’s like being unable to move in any direction. The thoughts have taken over and you believe them to the point that you can’t get moving.  More than that, the thoughts give you reasons and excuses to not get moving.

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Here are the 3 Biggest Thoughts You Want To Block Out of Your Mind . . .

These are three of those repetitive thoughts that keep you stuck, and actually allow you to stay stuck.

Here they are:

  1. “I’m not good enough.”
  2. “It’s not my fault.”
  3. “Life’s not fair.”

Sound familiar?

They certainly sound familiar to me!  I have said all of them to myself.  I have even gone looking for proof.  Only to find that they just keep me stuck.  They don’t help or serve me.  They just keep me from taking action. No movement at all one way or the other.

How about you?

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

You know your brain is like plastic, it can be molded into new thoughts and actually make new passage ways inside your brain. The best thing to do to change the thoughts that don’t serve you well at all is to turn that thought around and change the impact. Try replacing that thought with a positive affirmation: I am more than enough. Life is a great teacher.

For example:

If Thoughts Become Things Then Why Didn’t I Marry Brad Pitt? Just a thought?

So what did they mean when they said ‘Thoughts become things’?

Look at this way. When you want to go to the gym for a little exercise think about the process that happens for you to actually get to the gym.

Conversation in your head
Unconscious: ‘okay slacker, it’s time you did a little exercise’

Conscious: ‘mmm maybe, in fact no I think I’ll watch an episode of ‘Lost’.

Unconscious: ‘Look at your tummy, if you’re not careful you’re going to start ! come on get up!’

Your unconscious starts to throw you images of the gym so it’s stuck in your mind. It also throws you images of the benefits of going to the gym; feeling fitter, looking more attractive, losing a little weight, getting into your “skinny jeans”.

Conscious: ‘Yeah you might be right, I think it’s time to go.’ You get your exercise clothes on, grab your water, your bag and your car keys.

So what’s happened here is a conversation between your unconscious and your conscious giving you reasons why you should be going to the gym, all the time you are picturing the benefits and the more you hear the benefits and see them in your minds eye the more prone you are to taking action.

Blocking out
What a lot of people do when they would like to take action on something is they block out the thoughts that show the benefits of your proposed actions. Why they do this is to either avoid pain or desire more pleasure. So, in the scenario above the pleasure part would have been to lye on the couch and watch Lost , the painful part would have been going to the gym. Of course there are ways to change your thinking to reverse the pleasure and pain, but that’s for another post.

So when we want to avoid doing something that will ultimately have long term gains we block out the thoughts which lead us to take action. When we really want something we think about it more often and our unconscious mind works on ways to gain that desire and we work toward it slowly but surely. Sometimes it happens quickly and sometimes it’s very slow, but no matter what, if you desire something badly enough and you take action and think about it often enough the chances are you will get what you want in life.

I believe the mis-interpretation of all the law of attraction stuff is that a lot of people were saying ‘If I think about winning the lottery it will happen’, and when it didn’t happen then the Law of Attraction got a bad name. Guess what, if you don’t take action you will never get what you want in life.

More Posts from this Category

Can 20 Minutes Change Your Life?

Ready to move forward to find your soul mate? Let's start with a 20 minute conversation to get you started in the right direction.

Love Waits For You

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman’s emotional storms. ~ David Deida   I'll teach you how to find the guy that will stand tall for you!

Master Your Love Life

Join our Master Your Love Life Dating Program and find the real answers to finding love.

Dating Tips And Relationship Advice

  • Attract A Man
  • Breakup Help
  • Confidence And Self-Esteem
  • Dating After A Divorce
  • Dating Tips
  • Dating To Next Step
  • Featured Article
  • Featured Content
  • Flirting
  • For Men – How to Keep Her Happy
  • Get Your Ex Back
  • Guest Posts
  • Heartbreak To Happiness: One Client's Journey
  • How Do I Find My Soul Mate
  • How To Get Him To Commit
  • Love And Relationship Advice
  • Online Dating
  • Ready For A Relationship
  • Relationship Problems
  • Soul Mates
  • What Men Want From Women

Love Coach Inner Circle

Please tell me more about private Love Coaching and inner-circle love-coaching programs with Debbie. Find out how to join in the search and find your soul mate now!

Are You A Girl That Believes In The Rules?

40 Dating Tips I Gathered After Reading Ellen Fein’s The Rules

 Are The Rules Right For You?

By MADDISON JENSEN 

This book — The Rules — was what the movie, He’s Just Not That Into You was based on. The term “You are not the exception” is referring to The Rules. Historical evidence and references are explained in depth in the pages of this dating bible. It’s an interesting read, even if you don’t agree completely.

alt="40 Dating Tips I Gathered After Reading Ellen Fein’sThe Rules"

The Rules 40 Dating Tips:

1. Take care of yourself! Be feminine. Smell Good.

2. Make him approach you.

3. Be a Responder, not a Hunter. Hunters are men. You are not a man.

4. Never be offended. You love your flaws. You love yourself. Nothing you do is stupid. Smile and laugh.

5. Hunters don’t hunt animals that chase them or wait for them. They hunt unique animals that are hard to find, even if they have to travel to catch them.

6. Don’t call back immediately. You are a girl in demand.

7. Don’t call first. You might catch him when he’s busy and then you’ll feel bad and dumb.

8. End call first after 15 minutes ALWAYS. (Even though it sucks. He will call you more.)

9. End the date first.

10. Don’t reveal too much. Once books are open, they end up closed.

11. Be supportive and sympathetic

12. Don’t date people who are already dating people.

13. Be awesome. You’ve never been sad. You never want to be sad. Sad people are Sad. Happy people are contagious.

14. If his gifts aren’t romantic, his feelings aren’t romantic. You are not a tool set. You are a teddy bear and chocolates and everything sweet that he is feeling.

15. Refrain from seeing more than 2-3 times a week

16. Only casual kissing on the first date

17. Be busy until the moment he picks you up, that way you won’t over think things. Just be busy all the time. Busy people are important. You want to be important.

18. Even if you are not busy, pretend like you are. (This is not lying.)

19. Only tell your therapist or your dog everything about them. Don’t talk about them all the time. Words get around. You don’t want to sound crazy.

20. Seriously don’t have sex. When it comes to intimacy, stand your ground. They will respect you.

21. If bad things happen, stay emotionally cool. Don’t talk about the future. EVER. The future ball is in his court to bring up.

22. Don’t be bossy. Let him be a man. Bossy can come off as jealous or insecure.

23. Guys have balls. You don’t. Don’t let the ball be in your court. The ball should always be in his court. He knows what to do with his balls. Give him his balls.

24. Literally act like his life is totally fine and you don’t care to change it even if he’s wearing cargo shorts.

25. Always have something to do. Never act bored. Bored people are boring.

26. Feelings are heavy and nobody wants those so shut up and suck it up.

27. You are the happiest, calmest person alive. Nothing can get in your way. Your life is so great that he wants to put himself in it, and he will.

28. Sometimes it is better to be lonely than rejected. Even then, you have netflix.

29. You are unlike anyone else. You don’t waste time. You don’t take shit from people. Shit is gross.

30. Past relationships are in your rearview mirror. Your future is through your windshield. Your windshield is bigger for a reason.

31. The person who talks the most has the most to lose.

32. Sympathy is stupid so stop trying to get it.

33. There is a reason why liars are lonely. Don’t be one in a relationship.

34. Busy is just “Busy”– don’t explain. Be happy and aloof when explaining that you are busy for the night.

35. Don’t leave things at his apartment. Make him make up excuses to see you. If he doesn’t… He doesn’t want to see you. If he doesn’t want to see you… you were too busy to notice or care (even if you do care).

36. His friends are the last people for you to seek advice from. Do not devalue your intuition and confidence by asking questions that make you look insecure NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE.

37. Relationship ratio should always be him 70% and you 30-50%.

38. Eventually you will have to tell him everything about you, but don’t dump it on him like you’re nailing down his coffin. Let him understand that the weight of your past is something you carry lightly.

39. Keep yourself busy and happy. This isn’t just a tip to make people love you, this is a tip to keep you moving forward in life.

40. Stay fit, stay beautiful, and show him and yourself that you care about being healthy.

What Do You Mean He’s Not That In To You?

How Could He Decide So Fast You’re Not The One . . .

1He never really was into you

He just wanted to hook up. (Oh, stop sobbing. You’ve done it, too.)

2He found someone he’s more into

It happens. Perhaps that lovely coworker he has been pining for suddenly left her boyfriend, whom she was just not that into.

3He is tired of being dragged to church…

…and malls and family reunions and baby showers.

4Your friends and family members frightened him

Maybe he sees too much of your mother in you already.

5His friends finally talked him into leaving you

They whined, complained, and poked fun at him because, since you came around, he can’t come out and play after dinner.

 

Woman nagging husband

6You nag… a lot

Do you nag your partner?
View Results

Anytime you ask him to do something more than twice, it’s no longer a reminder, it’s nagging. Nothing makes a man want to run out of the home screaming more than nagging (excluding the obvious: A bad call during a playoff game or accidentally catching his Willy in his zipper).

7He’s a slob and you’re neat, or vice-versa

You don’t realize this until you share a hotel room for a week. Then, the unmade bed, clothing pile and missing toothpaste cap are sufficient reasons to check out of both the hotel and the relationship.

8You cost too much

Hey, times are tough. He has to cut corners. His hand does not require expensive foreplay such as roses, sushi and La Crema chardonnay. His accountant advised him to rebuild his credit by sticking to solo nights in a dive bar with his nutritious dinner of happy hour draft beer and popcorn.

9You are not the same woman you were when he met you

Remember that sexy number you were wearing? Those high boots with your designer jeans tucked inside them. That pink lace thong. The plunging neckline. Where did they go? Yes, you look cute in sweatpants, flip-flops and a trucker cap, but then again so does his uncle.

10You started rationing the cookie

You used to get busy all the time:In the car, on the kitchen counter and in the hotel Jacuzzi. You used to initiate. In fact, according to the police log, you had orgasms loud enough to register on the Richter scale. Now, instead of changing positions, you change the channels. He misses those days when you used to fetch the sex towel.

It’s not so bad. Don’t be embarrassed. You, too, can learn from this or at least become more skilled at faking it. But just accept it — he’s just not that into you.

alt="creative boyfriend gifts"

Creative Boyfriend Gifts – Unexpected Gifts He Will Love

alt="creative boyfriend gifts"Great Ways To Express Your Love To Your Boyfriend

Gifts Guys Love

Are you in a dilemma about what gift to get your boyfriend?  Don’t want to be over the top or too mushy? When giving gifts to those we love, we all want to give items they will enjoy and be surprised to receive. No one wants to give a gift the other person doesn’t want or something bland which they predicted they would receive or worse yet that they just throw in a drawer and forget about.

The following tips will help you find creative boyfriend gifts.

One thoughtful and creative boyfriend gift is a charm he can carry in his pocket to remember you each day. Men are unlike woman in that they do not like to wear necklaces with moments of the ones they love. By having a charm engraved with your names and a significant date that he can carry in his pocket you have given him the male equivalent of a female charm necklace. He will think of you each time he gets anything out of his packet during the day and he will be reminded of your love.

An inventive and creative boyfriend gift is having copies of the photos of the two of you cut into the letters of your names. Have the photo letters places in a frame to spell your names with a photo of the two of you in the shape of heart set between your names. This is a great way for him to enjoy photos of you together. Keeps him remembering the fun you have and how spontaneous you can be.

If your boyfriend is into vintage items then you want to consider getting him a vintage cigarette or card case and flask with his name engraved on it. This is a very classy boyfriend gift which he will enjoy well beyond the day you give them to him. You can really give a creative boyfriend gift with this idea.

You can make a memorable and creative boyfriend gift by making a special video for him. Film you, friends, and family members telling stories and sharing memories about the two of you. This is a special and you can make this one a unique, creative boyfriend gift which will be cherished each time he watches it.

Make going to the movies a special  date – creative boyfriend gift. Go to your local movie theater and ask if they sell ads which are shown before the film begins. If they do, you can purchase an ad and have it played on an evening you are taking him to see a movie together. The ad can have a picture of the two of you and saying a simple sweet message. Not only will he be surprised to see the ad, he will be touched by how thoughtful you are.

If you are looking to really impress your boyfriend one of the most impressive and creative boyfriend gifts is a new car stereo system or satellite radio. Tell your boyfriend you are taking his car to have it washed. Instead, take it have a high end car stereo or satellite radio installed into it. This is gift which will put a smile on his face each time he gets in hos car and thinks of you and this thoughtful gift. You could also put all of his favorite music on an iPod or Google Tablet or mp3 file which would not only be thoughtful but also be another creative boyfriend gift too!

With a little work you can give creative boyfriend gift which he will really enjoy.

 

More Posts from this Category

Featured Articles

How Could He Decide So Fast You’re Not The One . . . He never really was into you He just wanted to hook up. (Oh, stop sobbing. You’ve done it, too.) He found someone he’s more into It happens. Perhaps that lovely coworker he has been pining for suddenly left her boyfriend, whom she […]

alt="Men Love Confidence"

How can I Get my Ex Back with a Confident Attitude   Although a breakup with a boyfriend or with a girlfriend can be really depressing, it does not need to mean that the relationship is over. Even if the breakup should suddenly leave you feeling confusion and loneliness, you may still feel really eager […]

alt="First Dates Gone Wrong"

  How First Dates Go Seriously Wrong

Online Dating Profile Redo

Do you need to redo your online dating profile? Your online profile is more important than you know. Let's get you to stand out from the masses and attract the quality guys or classy women. Ask me how . . .

Pretty Chic Theme By: Pretty Darn Cute Design