Ten Things To Find Love Now

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Choose Your Thoughts Wisely

How To NOT Believe Everything You Think

Your thoughts are just that… thoughts. They are NOT facts! You get to choose the thoughts you focus on. So next time a negative thought pops up, let it go. Replace it with a positive affirmation.

All day, your mind is throwing you thoughts, waiting to see which ones you take the bait with.

And boy, do you ever take that bait! (I must confess – I do it too!)

The thing is you keep on repeating those thoughts, telling yourself the same lines and stories over and over again even expanding that thought to become bigger and bigger. Pretty soon, you forget it was just a passing thought and believe it to be factual and truthful. You get to the point where you can even find the convincing eveidence to proof that random thought is correct.

Some of those thoughts just get you stuck. It’s like being unable to move in any direction. The thoughts have taken over and you believe them to the point that you can’t get moving. More than that, the thoughts give you reasons and excuses to not get moving.

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

Here are the 3 Biggest Thoughts You Want To Block Out of Your Mind . . .

These are three of those repetitive thoughts that keep you stuck, and actually allow you to stay stuck.

Here they are:

“I’m not good enough.”
“It’s not my fault.”
“Life’s not fair.”

Sound familiar?

They certainly sound familiar to me! I have said all of them to myself. I have even gone looking for proof. Only to find that they just keep me stuck. They don’t help or serve me. They just keep me from taking action. No movement at all one way or the other.

How about you?

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

You know your brain is like plastic, it can be molded into new thoughts and actually make new passage ways inside your brain. The best thing to do to change the thoughts that don’t serve you well at all is to turn that thought around and change the impact. Try replacing that thought with a positive affirmation: I am more than enough. Life is a great teacher.

For example:

If Thoughts Become Things Then Why Didn’t I Marry Brad Pitt? Just a thought?

So what did they mean when they said ‘Thoughts become things’?

Look at this way. When you want to go to the gym for a little exercise think about the process that happens for you to actually get to the gym.

Conversation in your head
Unconscious: ‘okay slacker, it’s time you did a little exercise’

Conscious: ‘mmm maybe, in fact no I think I’ll watch an episode of ‘Lost’.

Unconscious: ‘Look at your tummy, if you’re not careful you’re going to start ! come on get up!’

Your unconscious starts to throw you images of the gym so it’s stuck in your mind. It also throws you images of the benefits of going to the gym; feeling fitter, looking more attractive, losing a little weight, getting into your “skinny jeans”.

Conscious: ‘Yeah you might be right, I think it’s time to go.’ You get your exercise clothes on, grab your water, your bag and your car keys.

So what’s happened here is a conversation between your unconscious and your conscious giving you reasons why you should be going to the gym, all the time you are picturing the benefits and the more you hear the benefits and see them in your minds eye the more prone you are to taking action.

Blocking out
What a lot of people do when they would like to take action on something is they block out the thoughts that show the benefits of your proposed actions. Why they do this is to either avoid pain or desire more pleasure. So, in the scenario above the pleasure part would have been to lye on the couch and watch Lost , the painful part would have been going to the gym. Of course there are ways to change your thinking to reverse the pleasure and pain, but that’s for another post.

So when we want to avoid doing something that will ultimately have long term gains we block out the thoughts which lead us to take action. When we really want something we think about it more often and our unconscious mind works on ways to gain that desire and we work toward it slowly but surely. Sometimes it happens quickly and sometimes it’s very slow, but no matter what, if you desire something badly enough and you take action and think about it often enough the chances are you will get what you want in life.

I believe the mis-interpretation of all the law of attraction stuff is that a lot of people were saying ‘If I think about winning the lottery it will happen’, and when it didn’t happen then the Law of Attraction got a bad name. Guess what, if you don’t take action you will never get what you want in life.

Dating Tip – Don’t Text Too Soon

Don’t Rush Into Texting After The First Date

Dating Tip: Once you go on a first date, you start to build the connection if you feel the two of you clicked. First impressions are usually correct. Don’t just pay attention to the physical attraction and chemistry you feel or don’t feel. That alone won’t help you make the best decision about who he is. You will feel that you need to communicate after the first date especially if you don’t hear from him. Dating Tip – Don’t Text Too Soon. It’s great to show gratitude for having a good time but don’t text too soon.

You don’t want to come across as needy or desperate. So slow down and resist the temptation to text right away. It will also lead to lowering your confidence. You see, you will have your hopes up that he will reply right away. There is an expectation that you want more than the place where the relationship stands at this moment.

Are You A Girl That Believes In The Rules?

40 Dating Tips I Gathered After Reading Ellen Fein’s The Rules

Are The Rules Right For You?

By MADDISON JENSEN

This book — The Rules — was what the movie, He’s Just Not That Into You was based on. The term “You are not the exception” is referring to The Rules. Historical evidence and references are explained in depth in the pages of this dating bible. It’s an interesting read, even if you don’t agree completely.

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The Rules 40 Dating Tips:

1. Take care of yourself! Be feminine. Smell Good.

2. Make him approach you.

3. Be a Responder, not a Hunter. Hunters are men. You are not a man.

4. Never be offended. You love your flaws. You love yourself. Nothing you do is stupid. Smile and laugh.

5. Hunters don’t hunt animals that chase them or wait for them. They hunt unique animals that are hard to find, even if they have to travel to catch them.

6. Don’t call back immediately. You are a girl in demand.

7. Don’t call first. You might catch him when he’s busy and then you’ll feel bad and dumb.

8. End call first after 15 minutes ALWAYS. (Even though it sucks. He will call you more.)

9. End the date first.

10. Don’t reveal too much. Once books are open, they end up closed.

11. Be supportive and sympathetic

12. Don’t date people who are already dating people.

13. Be awesome. You’ve never been sad. You never want to be sad. Sad people are Sad. Happy people are contagious.

14. If his gifts aren’t romantic, his feelings aren’t romantic. You are not a tool set. You are a teddy bear and chocolates and everything sweet that he is feeling.

15. Refrain from seeing more than 2-3 times a week

16. Only casual kissing on the first date

17. Be busy until the moment he picks you up, that way you won’t over think things. Just be busy all the time. Busy people are important. You want to be important.

18. Even if you are not busy, pretend like you are. (This is not lying.)

19. Only tell your therapist or your dog everything about them. Don’t talk about them all the time. Words get around. You don’t want to sound crazy.

20. Seriously don’t have sex. When it comes to intimacy, stand your ground. They will respect you.

21. If bad things happen, stay emotionally cool. Don’t talk about the future. EVER. The future ball is in his court to bring up.

22. Don’t be bossy. Let him be a man. Bossy can come off as jealous or insecure.

23. Guys have balls. You don’t. Don’t let the ball be in your court. The ball should always be in his court. He knows what to do with his balls. Give him his balls.

24. Literally act like his life is totally fine and you don’t care to change it even if he’s wearing cargo shorts.

25. Always have something to do. Never act bored. Bored people are boring.

26. Feelings are heavy and nobody wants those so shut up and suck it up.

27. You are the happiest, calmest person alive. Nothing can get in your way. Your life is so great that he wants to put himself in it, and he will.

28. Sometimes it is better to be lonely than rejected. Even then, you have netflix.

29. You are unlike anyone else. You don’t waste time. You don’t take shit from people. Shit is gross.

30. Past relationships are in your rearview mirror. Your future is through your windshield. Your windshield is bigger for a reason.

31. The person who talks the most has the most to lose.

32. Sympathy is stupid so stop trying to get it.

33. There is a reason why liars are lonely. Don’t be one in a relationship.

34. Busy is just “Busy”– don’t explain. Be happy and aloof when explaining that you are busy for the night.

35. Don’t leave things at his apartment. Make him make up excuses to see you. If he doesn’t… He doesn’t want to see you. If he doesn’t want to see you… you were too busy to notice or care (even if you do care).

36. His friends are the last people for you to seek advice from. Do not devalue your intuition and confidence by asking questions that make you look insecure NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE.

37. Relationship ratio should always be him 70% and you 30-50%.

38. Eventually you will have to tell him everything about you, but don’t dump it on him like you’re nailing down his coffin. Let him understand that the weight of your past is something you carry lightly.

39. Keep yourself busy and happy. This isn’t just a tip to make people love you, this is a tip to keep you moving forward in life.

40. Stay fit, stay beautiful, and show him and yourself that you care about being healthy.

Advice On Love Letters To Write To A Boyfriend

Love Letters To Write To A Boyfriend

Romantic history is marked by love letters. In fact, St. Valentine’s day came about when a priest (St. Valentine) fell in love with a Nun. They were separated and eventually executed, but not until Valentine wrote a love letter to his beloved. If you are feeling romantic, write a love letter. Here’s some advice on love letters to write to a boyfriend.

First of all, get in the right mood. Put on some romantic music. This can be a Beethoven symphony, the sappy songs of Chicago, or the music you and he fell in love with.

Next, find a spot where you can be uninterrupted. You don’t want the everyday annoyances of life intruding when you are about to write love letters to your boyfriend.

Get a pen or pencil and paper before love letters to write to a boyfriend. That’s because you will find yourself being more creative when you hand write the letter instead of being trapped behind the computer.

Think about the things you want to say to him. Pour out your heart. Because this is a letter and not direct communication, you can be more emotional than normal.

Get a book of love poems or romantic quotes to give you inspiration. You can even incorporate these into your love letters to write to a boyfriend.

Don’t think your first draft will be the final one. If you are taking the trouble to write a love letter, spend some time and edit it. Because it is more permanent than casual conversation, you want to get the wording and the emotions right.

Once you have the love letter to write to a boyfriend composed, copy it on to nice paper. Use a good quality pen. Consider using red ink or writing the letter with a calligrapher’s pen. The paper should be heavy. Think about using a colored paper such as tan or pink (depending on the ink color). You can also use scrap booker’s tools to sculpt the edges of the paper to make it even more memorable.

Think about how you are going to present the love letter as well. If you are going to put it in an envelope, consider using a wax seal to close it. That smacks of romance.

You might want to slip the love letter into his lunch box, place it on the bed, or tape it to his shaving mirror. All of these things ensure that he notices your tome.

Don’t get too upset if he doesn’t seem to appreciate all of the hard work that you’ve put into it. He really does know that you are expressing your love for him through the letter – he may just not know how to respond. He may feel that if he can’t write a love letter in return that he shouldn’t place too much emphasis on your work.

That’s my advice on love letters to write to a boyfriend.

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

Choose Your Thoughts Wisely

How To NOT Believe Everything You Think

Here are the 3 Biggest Thoughts You Want To Block Out of Your Mind . . .

Don’t Rush Into Texting After The First Date

40 Dating Tips I Gathered After Reading Ellen Fein’s The Rules

Are The Rules Right For You?

Online Dating Profile Redo