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Ten Things To Find Love Now

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

1. Start by losing the losers

If you want to find your soul mate you must be available and not involved with people that aren’t right for you. Staying available is hard for a lot of singles, but necessary for finding the love of your life.

2. OK, available now? Next… are you “ready?”

Any unfinished business that might sabotage your next relationship? Legal, financial, emotional, kids, ex, employment? Get it handled!

3. Next, make a list of your top five “requirements”

Requirements are non-negotiable deal-breakers; what you must have or must not have in your relationship. Vow not to get involved with anyone that doesn’t meet all five. Share your list with your closest friends and make them swear to tell you the truth and lock you up if you get off-track.

4. Good job. Now, let’s get crystal clear about this “dating” thing:

If you want to avoid the deadly dating traps, focus on these Four Steps for Conscious Dating:

Step One: Scouting (find compatible people to meet- internet, through friends, getting out there, etc)

Step Two: Sorting (quickly determine if someone you meet has potential)

Step Three: Screening (collect enough information to know if your requirements would be met)

Step Four: Testing (date a few times and compare the reality with the information)

Repeat as needed.

That’s it… nothing more, nothing less. No “trial relationships,” no fun flings; just these four steps.

5. Get support

Don’t do this alone. Dating can be scary and isolating, and your friends and family can be your safety net to help you stay on track.

6. Work it!

Most people meet their soul mate through someone they already know, so let people know you’re looking and network like crazy.

7. Be positive and happy

Success breeds success and misery loves company… your choice.

8. Be the Chooser!

Go after what you want and don’t simply react to what or who chooses you.

9. Be assertive!

If you settle for less, you’ll get less. Ask for what you want and say “No” to what you don’t want.

10. Live a great life NOW while you’re single. “If you build it, they will come” (from the movie “Field of Dreams”).

Finding your perfect mate is a combination of working on yourself so that you’re ready to attract and keep this wonderful person, and being proactive in your life to go after what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you, or hoping it will just “happen.”

Friday January 6, 2012 By Debbie

How Your Fear Hold You Back From Love

Fear & Forgiveness: One More Step On The Journey To Love Last night’s session touched on some very difficult topics for me. 5 ½ years ago I terminated an unplanned pregnancy. My partner and I were not married and although we had regularly discussed marriage and he totally adores children my fears overwhelmed me and […]

Thursday January 5, 2012 By Debbie

Heartbreak To Happiness: The New Journey Begins

What does New Year’s mean to me? A Daring Promise Of Love At the start of every year many of us make resolutions, they might be to lose weight, eat healthier, get a better job… This year I have resolved to take better care of myself mentally. I have vowed to do whatever it takes […]

Broken Relationships Rebound The Smart Way

Should You Fall In Love On The Rebound?

How many times have you seen one of your friends break up with a long-term partner only to find, the very next week, rebound with someone who was obviously all wrong for them? It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships: rebound dating.

The idea of rebound relationships is so ingrained into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for one after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting “back in the saddle,” choosing a partner when your judgment is clouded usually does more harm than good overall. If you want to get over your ex fast, there are better ways to do it.

Band-Aid relationships: rebound mindset

The first step to keeping yourself from doing something you’ll regret is to take an honest look at what you’re feeling and understand how those feelings can lead you places you’d rather not go. A lot of times we just miss the companionship and look for someone to fill the gap in our schedule and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. In that case, make a point of finding a social time-filler that doesn’t involve romance.

Maintain your standards

The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safety buffer. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less kind, less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want, stay away. The people don’t make for good relationships, rebound or otherwise.

Beware of the handiest person

When we look for someone to rebound with, we need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a close friend, a co-worker, even someone who works at the grocery store down the street. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit attracted to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.

Take time for yourself

Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends (that’s “friends,” not “lovers.” There’s a difference.) Get involved in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around pining for your ex or scouring the bookstore shelves for self help books.

Be gentle with yourself.

Even if your not sobbing into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel a little bummed out and low on energy. Take that into account and try not to start any major projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself to some time out to do something you enjoy.

Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a disaster. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. If you do decide to get involved with someone after a breakup, though, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not lowering your standards. While we can prevent broken relationships: rebound dates gone wrong are easy to avoid.

Knowing When Love Is Right For You

Don’t Date The Wrong Guy

Sometimes it can be hard to tell whether or not a new relationship is going to work out. It doesn’t help that you fall for people that end up being fundamentally wrong for you. So how do you tell whether the guy you’re with is someone who is right for you? To help ease the potential confusion, we have come up with three red flags that do a pretty good job at indicating you may be dating the wrong guy.

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You have different life goals

One of the biggest and most important indicators that your dating the wrong guy is that you see future life goals differently – they just don’t match up. It’s not about the personal short term goals, like the fact that he’s saving for a new car and you’ve decided to change jobs. It’s the long range big, life – changing -type goals. For example, if you know you want kids and he doesn’t – you have a huge difference in what you want. Or, if he plans on eventually moving back to his (tiny, middle-of-nowhere) home town and you can’t stand the thought of living anywhere but the city, then this will create a huge gap between the two of you somewhere down the road. You have to get really clear on what you need from a relationship and find out what you are willing to compromise on. The key is to know if the one you’re dating is not budging on areas where you are not able to compromise. They are your deal breakers.

You never really talk

Women really feel a deep connection when they are listened to and understood. It is an extremely validating experience. There is also another piece to that in that the guy you are dating must be able to open up and share his thoughts while you listen. That is what sustains a relationship over time. Contrary to widespread belief, sex is only one part of a healthy relationship. Look for ways to open up deep, meaningful conversations and engage in enriching discussions where you share perspectives. This goes a long way in a relationship and actually deepens the physical intimacy between the two of you. Conversation – the real kind where you discuss feelings and hopes and dreams – is a key ingredient to building a lasting bond with someone. If you don’t have those open honest heart-felt sharing conversations – ever – you’re not in the right relationship. As much as it’s a physical connection, a good relationship should also allow you to connect on a deeper emotional level. The key here is to see if the guy you are dating is able to connect on an emotional level. If not, in the long run this is a hige deal breaker.

He doesn’t like your family and friends and vice versa

If none of your family and friends like him, or he doesn’t get along with any of the people you hold dear, you could be wasting your time. The same goes for his family and friends. You don’t need to like or get along with all of them, but if trying to ignore thsi issue will never make it go away. Now of course we are all drawn to certain people and have become used to the way are own familes likes and dislikes. Just make sure that you know what you are getting yourself into. One of the best parts of being in a relationship that makes you happy is combining your closest circle with his. That doesn’t mean you no longer have separate friends or do things without one another, but having dinner parties with both of your favorite people makes things so much easier. Having to entirely separate your life as a couple from your family and friend puts a strain on the relationship. The key is to know yourself well enough to see where this could cause problems in the relationship. Know if it is a deal breaker for you.

Making the decision that someone is wroing is never eay. Try to take some time to really understand what you need from a relationship. Is it being a priority, fun, commitment, physical affection, etc – no matter what you have to find someone that is able to meet those needs and vice versa for them That is the key to being happy in a relationship!

Why You Are Perfect For Someone

There Is A Guy Out There Who Is Looking For Someone Just Like You

Believe this for I know it is true.

I’ve worked with hundreds of incredible women in my career. The funny thing is a lot of them seem to think that if you’re attractive and female, you simply blend in with all the other attractive women out there. They imagine that men find all smart, attractive women to be interchangeable. It’s almost as if women aren’t giving men enough credit to know the difference!

I’m here to tell you men are much deeper, romantic, intuitive, have feelings and emotions they don’t show, and are smarter than you might think. The man you want and need is going to be looking for someone just like you.

If you’re in your 30s, 40s 50s or 60s and you’re “available”, then why haven’t found the man that’s right for you? Is it fair to say that you might be the one looking in the wrong direction, and therefore attracting the men that aren’t looking for you? Your age? Your look? Your personality? Are you perhaps looking to men who aren’t relationship ready – unavailable – and who don’t know what they want? It’s a lot to think about.

When I was single, I intentionally put my blinders on when it came to other women, and only focused on what I personally had to offer a man. I knew that my guy would be looking for what I brought to the table, and I never relied on my external appearance to attract a man. My advice is for you to do the same. We are all unique women. When it comes to finding your Mr. Right, you will be perfect for each other because of your shared values, goals, chemistry and personality. He will be drawn to you. He won’t resist.

This is for everyone reading this: what makes you unique and lovable? What qualities and traits do you have? What have others noticed and complimented you for? Write it in a journal or put it on a sticky note and keep it where you can remind yourself.

Why should a man choose you over someone else? It’s vital to your relationship success that you have a full understanding of where your romantic value lies. Stop worrying about other women. Just shine in your own spotlight. He will notice you. I promise!

Can 20 Minutes Change Your Love Life?

Ten Things To Find Love Now

You Can Find Love Right Now By Doing These Ten Things

How Your Fear Hold You Back From Love

Heartbreak To Happiness: The New Journey Begins

Online Dating Profile Redo